My girl Debz hooked me up with a Moroccan Hammam. The lady giving me the bath, was not only pretty but had therapeutic hands. So much so that I didn’t realize she had me all covered in gooey stuff. I got all wrapped up in a towel and went in to the steam room. Now I am claustrophobic to an extent and the steam was a little suffocating so she turned off one steam generator and I sat in. I couldn’t see anything and the thought in my head was “if I intend to piss people off, I better not make coming here a regular because ..........”
Someone got me a cup of water with a slice of lemon and a slice of cucumber. Now it’s my age old habit to stick my finger in cups or glasses to pull out lemon slices or ice cubes but one glance at my finger and I opted to drink the water and let the fruit slice come to me instead.
Oh I also learnt that farts and steam.....naaaah not a good idea (tee hee). Finally my steam time was up and as I got up quickly, anxious to go get my bath from cute lady soft hands. In my haste, I didn’t realize the steam nuzzle was by my right ankle. No points for guessing what happened next.
It felt like I was being skinned alive. What the %^*”!?@#~ and then I slipped. Commonsense kicked in real quick, I am burnt already so endure the pain and don’t hit the floor or burn another body part on the second nuzzle. In my bid to regain my balance I lost my rubber clogs. (like seriously)
I limped out and pretty lady soft hands applied a cold compress to my epidermis free ankle and it felt better. Then I was put on the slab and was washed like royalty. Now I think Prince Akeem was silly to leave Zamunda for Queens.
I was so relaxed I began to wonder if I was drugged. (what was in the glass of water) And then I felt the fart come. Oh oh!!!! I can’t fart with pretty lady soft hands scrubbing my back so I tried to stiffen myself to hold it in which was really difficult as the bath was very relaxing.
I am sure my butt cheeks developed muscle pull from all the stiffening and relaxing like it was drinking stout and red bull. (“IT” being my butt cheeks). I made it through without farting (yay) I got sprayed with rose water and sat in a massage chair. Heaven.
It felt right. I walked away feeling very relaxed and remarkably clean.
